State of love and trust

I have only trusted 3 people in my life. when i explain further, you will understand why only 3.

I trusted my father...before he left my mother, and completely forgot i existed. i havnt seen or heard from him in 11 years. i hate him for that.

I trusted my Bestfriend...Ali. she meant everything to me, we were unseperable. We got into drugs, drinking and guys...and when we were 13, she killed herself. i hate her for that.

I trusted my boyfriend...He treated me like a queen, he was perfect. then he got hooked on meth. it consumed his whole life, and soon nothing was important to him. not even me. i hate him for that.

Everyone i have ever trusted has left me. deserted me.
Ive learned not to trust...i dont even think i really trust me anymore... and i hate myself for that.